Day two of my workweek and it is proving to be more difficult to maintain my chosen deliberate lifestyle. It is very very easy to fall back into the everyday, just get through the day to zonk out in the evenings. Right now I am so tired I can hardly think straight. My eyes are burning. Not sure how much meditating is going to get done. I did clean the sink out of all the dirty dishes (with the help of my loving fiance!). I didn’t eat out today or yesterday. I actually cooked enchiladas, cheesy ones, of course. I packed lunches for all of us (again, with the help of my loving fiance!). We are going to be doing some discussion on our finances. Yippee.
Today I had fun daydreaming about my little homestead. This is my current favorite daydream, involving chickens and cows and greenhouses. Of course, I have absolutely no experience with any of these things, and may actually hate to care for animals. I certainly have no interest in pets. I want to have fresh eggs, though, and fresh milk. I don’t even know what fresh milk tastes like. I want to make my own butter and cream. I want to collapse exhausted in my nice bed after a day of hard labor on my own place. I dream of not working for anyone but myself.
Right now I am still working for someone else, doing things like stopping by a store to pick up ice cream without even thinking twice about what I’m doing. Flopping in the recliner at the end of the day with a big sigh of relief for making through the day. This is not the life I want.
I really want to get rid of more of my stuff. All the stuff I have now will not fit into my daydream of a homestead. I would need a yurt for me and a yurt for my stuff. Not cool. It’s hard to remember that they are just “things” and not a part of me. Nothing bad will happen if I get rid of it.
I just want to be real. I want to eat real food and do real work. I want to have real conversations and be a real mother and wife. That’s all, but it seems like it is very difficult to do. Obviously I am very tired, and feeling somewhat pessimistic right now.
Going to meditate on the blessings in my life now.
I don't know if many families WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) or if it is just people with no kids, but look around and see if maybe one summer your family could try WWOOFing it would give you a better idea about if you would like your Homestead idea in reality. Or look for a good CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). You want one that actually has their members come out and help on the farm for a certain numbers of hours. That would be an easy way to get a taste of the lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteAlso Raw Milk is Yum.
Amos & Friends,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the WWOOF info! I'm definitely going to check into that. I would love to taste raw milk. Do you have any?